Welcome to the world of Jason Eff

2006-09-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

Steve Irwin. a man's man.

chances are you've already heard the news, Steve Irwin, the "Crocodile Hunter" is dead. Stabbed in the heart by a sting ray. This makes me sad. Steve Irwin truly was a manly man's man. Normal men don't wrestle dangerous animals to wake themselves up in the morning.,, steve Irwin, here is my tribute to you.

1. At this very moment, Steve Irwin is fighting a rabid, radioactive, mile-high croc in Heaven

2. Every morning, Steve Irwin, would BURST out of the anaconda that ate him the previous night, tie it in a knot and then kill every stingray within a 500 mile radius

3. Steve once made a croc's blood run so cold, it froze solid.

4. Steve Irwin defeated Chuck Norris in a wrestling match... with a baby in his arms.

5. Steve Irwin drank at noon everyday. The contents of that drink were known to us as cyanide, every snake venom known to man, pure evil sting ray souls and napalm. To Steve Irwin, it was known simply as "refreshing"

6. Steve Irwin once fought the worlds larges Giant Squid. The corpse of that squid is now known as Japan.

7. Steve Irwin once wrestled an English Dragon into submission. His arms were broken at the time.

8. Steve Irwin once created venomous snakes out of nylon rope. They were 89% MORE venomous then regular snakes.

9. The Alternate ending to 'Anaconda' is Steve Irwin jumping in 4 minutes into the movie and knocking the snake out in 5 seconds with his God-like wrestling moves.

10. Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Mario got the idea of Yoshi when he saw Steve Irwin riding a komodo dragon.

11. Steve Irwin could talk to every animal in existence. Including bacteria.

12. Steve Irwin wrestled with an entire Zerg Brood in his spare time.

RIP Steve Irwin, you've made me laugh countless times, impressed me with your courage, stupidity and strength.

I, Jason induct you into my manly hall of fame, you shall forever be embedded into my mind with the likes of Chuck Norris, Mr. T, David Hasselhoff and Sean Connery.

2006-07-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

The Greatest Movie Ever

Now I KNOW that about 99.9999999% will NOT agree with my greatest movie of all time, but whatever, this is my blog and my opinion will go on it.

Without further ado, I present

Yes, my most greatest super fantastic awesome favorite movie in the entire universe is none other then the legendary "Tremors".

Tremors takes place in the states, specifically, a town in the state of Nevada by the name of "Perfection". Perfection is home to 14 citiznes, two of whom are Val and Earl, two guys that just do odd jobs around town and complain about life. However, they would never do anything to change life around because of course that would take too much effort. In other words, these two guys are the very epitome of men. Women hate them (initially) and other men just wish they could slack like them. However, one day, and situation involving a septic tank proves to be too much and they pack up and leave in their rusty ol' truck. On their way out of town however, they come across some dead bodies, and this makes them want to get out of town just THAT much faster. However, it turns out that the way out of town is blocked by stuff and well, through a series of crazy, and ridiculous events, it comes to light that the problems seem to be caused by these giant worm like creatures that burrow and live underground.

Yes, I know, it sounds cheesier then a bucket of nacho cheese, BUT thats just a part of why this movie is so awesome. It has all the character a movie needs, the two heroic slackers, the asian convenience store owner, the cute chick, the crusty, bearded gun expert and the smart ass kid. All these actors come together to create this unusual feeling within you. You have a smile on your face from the ridiculous goofyness and corny one-liners, but at the same time, the movie never really loses its ominous feeling.

Here is my checklist for an awesome movie

1. Kevin Bacon [X]
2. Explosions [X]
3. Guns [X]
z. Dead people [X]
9. Crying [X]
%. Zombies [ ]
:D. blood [X]

So this movie basically has everything. Except zombies. Which is why this movie is awesome. Not even Terminator 2, Judgement day can beat, the wittyness, the cornyness and the horror of the underrated masterpiece known simply as "Tremors"

I give this movie

7 roundhouse kicks out of 5

2006-05-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

Upon further reflection, I have realized that Captain Planet DID in fact have a mullet. I stand corrected.

2006-04-09T02:25:00.000-07:00

The Best Worst Songs Ever

You know what I'm talking about... These songs suck. Alot. But at the same time whenever its played on the radio, you can't help but laugh silently to yourself and then burst out loudly into the song so that everyone around can hear you and (hopefully) join in. Here is Jason's list of the best worst songs ever.

10. Ebony and Ivory - John McCartney and Stevie Wonder
This quite sums up this song in an awesome and potent sentence. McCartney and Wonder want the races to get along as peacefully as the white and black keys on a piano — which seems unlikely, since the white keys didn’t enslave the black keys for hundreds of years.

9. Final Countdown - Europe
The worst thing ever, bar none to come out of both the band and the country.

8. Barbie Girls - Aqua
Ill admit it, I have the Aqua Cd somewhere in my home. And I used to like them. Listening to them now, I want to beat up my younger self for inflicting such massive damage upon my eardrums. Emo kids need no cut themselves anymore. Aqua is just as painful and infection free!

7. Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex
Two of earth's most vile creations mashed together in a vile song. Country and techno. The band name made me giggle though. haha (rednecks)

6. She Bangs - Ricky Martin
When I first listenined to this song, I thought, now way this guy can take off, the lyrics MAKE NO SENSE. Unfortunately for the planet I was proven wrong. Very wrong.

5. Baby Got Back - Sir-Mix-Alot - yes, we all love this song but really, its horrible. Its just some guy singing about the virtues of the "ghetto bootay". Yea, 3 or so minutes of a man declaring his love for thick rumps. Awesome.

4. Rasputin - Boney M
I heard this on the radio with my mom in the car. I started singing along and amazingly, so did my mom. This song rocks and sucks because well... its about Rasputin. And its Disco.

3. Moskau - Dschinghis Khan
Believe it or not, this song was the theme song of the 1980 Olympic Games in Moscow, you know, the one that everyone boycotted? People say they boycotted cause of the whole communism and cold war thing. I like the think this song caused it.

2. Scat Man - (I have no clue who this is by...)
If you have never heard this song, I feel sorry for you AND am jealous of you at the same time. Really. There are no real detectable words in this song except for "I'm the SCAT MAN!" The rest of it is just scatting. And yet, somehow, everyone can "sing" along to it

1. Safety Dance Men Without Hats
The Cream of the Crop. A product of the 80's, extolling the beauty and wonder of "The Safety Dance" What is it exactly? Well, in the music video (which involves a lute playing midget) The dude makes an "S" shaped thing with his arms whenever he is about to fall down and well, its stops him! Essentially, you kinda lurch forward and make your arms curve into an S shape. If you're ever in the same car as me when this song goes on radio. I will freak out loudly and unashamedly. Don't be scared.

Heres a link to the people performing Moskau. Let me warn you... this video contains PURE 80's unfiltered and in your face. It will make you laugh so hard that you may quite possibly die. Please don't try to copy their dance moves causey ou might hurt yourself.
moskau

Heres a link to the safety dance music video
safety dance

2006-03-30T03:32:00.000-08:00

Like a lot of other kids my age, TV played a massive role in my life. I remember in grade 2 or 3, I would actually wake up BEFORE school, at like 6:00am in the morning to watch cartoons. Cartoons such as Peter Pan, the animated series and Carebears. However, morning television really wasnt the "prime" stuff so to say. The best TV of the day would come afterschool. 3 - 5pm on weekdays, we would get fantastic television that would entertain impressionable 8 year old minds with heroes, humour and fun. These weekdays as a child were probably some of the most cherished time of my life to date, which may sound really sad but yea, there you go. Now a days, the realy impact of TV is on Saturday mornings, not that it wasnt back then but the selection on weekends back then isnt nearly as vast as it is today.

And so the point of this post is the list and describe my top 10 after school cartoon/TV shows. Because not all the best shows were cartoons. :D

10. Camp Cariboo

Chances are, 90% of you don't remember this show. Heck, I didnt remember it till a friend and I were talking about awesome shows from our childhood. When he mentioned the name of the show, I STILL didnt remember. Those of you who watched this regularily like I did will probably recognize this show and jump up and down excitedly when someone mentions this show and the "ping pong ball song" in the same line. Remember that song? "I've got a head like a ping pong ball..." But yea great stuff, funny hosts, great times, made me wish I went to the same camp the white kids did. Also its a Canadian show :D

9. SmoggiesSmoggies

This show for some strange reason REALLY entertained me. I have no clue why. Looking back, a lot of cartoons had the whole "be good to your envoronment! Keep it clean!" and all sorts of do good feel good messages. Regardless, the antics of the smogies trying to protect their nice clean little Island from the three badguys always made me laugh and just amused me a lot. I always wondered by the 12391823918239821 smoggies didnt step up and overrun the guys polluting their place. Thats what I would have done.

8. Doug

Many of you may not remember this cartoon but I do. This show was awesome. Period. I think I really should rank this higher, but I have my reasons for putting it at 8. Doug is a really insightful guy, heck the guy almost imspried me to start my own journal. An entertaining show by nickelodeon. HOWEVER, when disney bought the rights to this show so they could make new episodes and make the most horrible movie ever... they managed to destroy what I thought was a clever, smart and entertaining cartoon. I hate disney for doing that. Also, the intro theme song is probaably one of the most repeatable in the world. Once you listen to it once, you WILL NOT stop humming it until your vocal cords like fall apart.

7. Rugrats

Another product of the nickelodeon powerhouse of the mid to late 90s. Really, what is there to say about this show that hasnt been said? I think the big appeal of this show was just the fact that a bunch of babies that seemed so helpless and stupid to adults were really outsmarting them old folk and going out on adventures DAILY. I mean really, as kids we ALL wanted to go out on adventures. And we all thought them babies were so smart because they were able to outsmart their parents on a regular basis. Good stuff this show was. Haha I loved the Grandpa in this show...

6. Duck Tales

Another awesome show. old uncle scrooge and his nephews and neices using his loads of money to go on these adventures. Great animation and just great stories. Once this show was on, there was no ripping me form the TV. This show was just that intense, making me laugh, scream and laugh again all within 30 minutes. Amazing work by disney.

5. Saved by the Bell

One word "Screech". I loved this show and it really was the first sort of regular non cartoon I ever got into. The antics of Screech made me laugh histerically and the absolute coolness of slater made me want to be him. Minus the mullet part of course.

4. Captain Planet

Whoopi Goldberg voiced Gaia, the earth women. This makes this show awesome by default. Then there was the whole coolness factor of this show. I had always thought the annoying heart kid was from india, but just a few weeks ago I learned hes actually from SOUTH america. This is quite possibly the most politically correct cartoon ever. Pretty much every race is represented in the good guys. And so minorities won't get upset, all the bad guys were white lol. The exception was this thing that looked like "The thing" of the fantastic four. He was yellow. Captain planet was awesome cause he could shoot stuff to clean up messes and he had a mullet.

3. X-men the animated Series

this show was the show that every single boy would watch. Ask any guy aged 16 - 25 and then ask them to hum the theme to this show and about 90% of them will be able to do it. Thats how amazing this show is. There was the absolute coolness of there being ALL the X-men in this. epic battles between good and evil every week and 2, evern like 5 part series... it was amazing non stop action that every single boy loved. Heck I bet there are girls out there that watched this show ON A REGULAR BASIS. thats how awesome this is.

2. SpiderMan: The animated series

I dont think I have to say anything for this show. But I will. Awesome. this show was HUGE. EVERY kid watched this show, thats how amazing it was. Awesome animation and well.. it was spider man! you can't go wrong with spider man, hes just that cool!

1. C.O.P.S - the animated series

This is everyones favorite show that nobody remembers. Great stuff. Awesome characters, awesome animation and just entertaining stories that would engage the mind of an 8 year old boy week after week after week. They also had these really cool action figures for this cartoon series. This is by FAR my most favorite cartoon of my childhood and I would do anything to get my hands on the DVD box set of this cartoon series.

2006-03-15T08:46:00.000-08:00

no time for a post, a little something to satiate your voracious appetite for the weird and sometimes humerous.

2006-03-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

I want to watch this movie really bad.

2006-03-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

So while chilling with one of my Mchomies (haha sounds like a burger) during welcome week, I noticed something in their room that lifted the corner of my face that nothing else probably could. A slap bracelet. Remember those? No? Well I don't blame you cause I had totally forgotten about them until right then and there. For those of your unfortunate enough to have forgotten about them, they were basically a bent piece of metal with fabric wrapped around it. The cool part...
Well when you "slap" the stick around your wrist (or anything else for that matter) the bracelet would proceed to AUTOMATICALLY wrap itself around your wrist. Oh yea, I also remember them getting banned from school, haha cause mine was taken away by a teacher. I never forgave that woman... Ever...

I proceeded to fiddle with it for the next few hours, with a nice feeling of nostalgia welling up from within me. Thinking about these slap bracelets kinda led to me thinking about other weird fads I had back in the day, fads that will cause my kids, if I ever get some to laugh in the most hearty manner in my face. So I kinda compiled a list of things I found cool and enjoyed in my youth.

1) Slap bracelets
2) Tamagotchis and other assorted "virtual pets"
3) POGS (wow i remember my brother crying cause my mom didnt get him a package of them while we were at the mall. hahaha)
4) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
5) solid plastic Batman lunchbox
6) Nintendo (duckhunt anyone?)
7) Getting hyped to play some lame french game with a strawberry ON THE COMPUTER in grade 4.
8) Saturday morning cartoons
9) Spice Girls and BSB
10) X-men the animated series (who else can hum out the theme song with me?)
11) The "novels" written by R.L Stein Goose something haha someone fill me in
12) me and my brother watching "Are you Afraid of the Dark" and then not sleeping for the next few hours cause we were so scared
13) Alf... oh alfy...
14) Casette players
15) Last but no least, The Power Rangers.

Please, add to this list of fond childhood memories if you want. Memories have to be preferable from the late 80's to latest the mid 90's. Has to be.

2006-02-16T02:03:00.000-08:00

I want to sign myself up for a medical experiment, but my mom might not let me...
$1500 over 4 weeks, i think its a pretty good deal.

Have a tube stuck up through your nose into your stomach to test for ph 3 time a week. Free meals 3 times a week. Blood and urine tests 3 days a week for 4 weeks. And take some pill.

On a side note. For those of you to go to Mac. In my opinion, the cleanest PUBLIC washrooms on campus are on either
a) the upper floors of MDCL
b) washrooms on 3rd floor of MUSC

I guarantee, check it out, you won't be dissapointed.

2006-01-22T22:44:00.000-08:00

a different sort of adventure...

So yesterday night, I had what was by far one of the scariest things happen to me ever. It was my friends birthday, so a bunch of us go out to celebrate. We do so responsibly, no alcohol, just dinner at East Side Marios and some pool. On our walk back from campus is when the "excitement" happens.

We're walking east on main, towards the McMaster campus when suddenly a bunch of hooligans begin shouting various profanities at us

"What the **** are you looking at?!"

Naturally we all look up to see what the commotion is. The hooligans take this as a challange and come our way. We dont want any trouble so our group continues to walk away and basically try to ignore the guys. They continue to follow...

Eventually they catch up. They once again start throwing profanities, but this time, they start to get physical. They First start with some pushing and shoving. We still are pasive and do nothign about it except try to talk our way out of it. Problem is, these punks have their minds set on a fight.

There are three guys, the tallest guy throws the first punch at my friend, who easily ducks and dispatches the guy with a kick to the gut. A second person rushes my friend , who proceeds to grab the "thug's" bulky jackcet and throws him to the ground. The third and shortest guy then proceeds to take out a knife, with a blade about 8 inches long. It is then that I get really scared. The psycho comes after us with the knife. The first two guys continue to beat up on my friend while the guy with the knife threatens us with his weapon. I've never been so scared, I honestly think someone is going to get stabbed. My friend escapes the guys double teaming him and we run towards the Boston's Pizza in an attempt to get away from the punks.

We take a break in the lobby, thinking that its over. We're wrong. Two of the three guys come in after us and continue to beat up on my friend. At one point the taller guy grabs my friends arm behind his back and shouts out to the short guy "SHANK HIM QUICK!" I thought in my head "Oh no... this is it, my friends about to become a fricken statistic... hes gonna get stabbed..."

At that point, one of the boston's pizza employees did something that potentially saved my friend from greivous harm. He knocked the big guy in the back of the head and tackled him to the table. He gets the two guys out of Bostons Pizza and finally it is over.

During the whole ordeal in the Boston's Pizza, another friend of mine was in the washroom callign the cops, who came about 10 minutes too late. nothing really happens, except my friends who were hit and a few of us "witnesses" have to go in to the police station to make a statement of somesort.

When I got back to res, I was drained, emotionally and physically. I had been threatened by some punk kid with a knife and I had almost watched my friend being gutted by the other guy. Kinda leads to a lot of thinking... I got like no sleep that night, I tried to sleep as soon as I got back, but I just couldnt go to sleep. Everytime I closed my eyes, the image of that sharp blade in the guys hand just kept me up. I must have laid in bed for hours on end, just imagining what "could have happened". The fragility of life really hit me hard last night. My roomate and one of my best friends at Mac was so close to have been taken away just like that...

Life can be taken away from you without a moments notice. It could have been any of us that could have been stabbed last night. But God must have really been looking over the bunch of us last night. We got nothing but a few black eyes and sore bodies... nothing serious. A lot of people were saying to us after the fact

"why didnt you just nail the guy in face when he brought out the knife?!"

Its so easy to say "lol i would have kicked his butt so bad lol little punks"

but when you're face to face with a boy with no regard for his or anyone else life and is armed with a knife, suddenly, its not so easy to just "lol punch him in the face"

Even today I was still mulling over things, various things would bother me. When someone joked about stabbing someone else, it really just made me uncomfortable. Even the knives at the bistro... It just all really creeped me out. anyways, I have no clue where I want to go with this. I think I was supposed to get someting out of the whole experience but so far, the whole ordeal has really been interesting...

2005-12-13T13:04:00.000-08:00

An adventure...

So this really happened like a month ago, but Im posting about it now. whatcha gonna do about it?!

so it all started out like so....

Me, my roomate Jay and a dude who lives in the floor below us named Rex have just come back from our Res-wide formal. Its about 1:30 am. There some people drinking in our room, people I dont know and people that arent friendly. Initially, we just watch Family Guy episodes, but soon Rex has a craving..

"Hey guys, I've got this sudden massive craving for wings"

Jay and I look at one another and simultaneously say at the same times
"Ginos...."

Ginos, for all you poor saps that dont go to Mac happens to be THE best pizza joint INT THE WORLD. They sell wings, panzarottis and pizza. But what makes them SO spectacular is their $5 pizzas and the fact that theyre open VERY late. So we get all bundled up as it was snowing quite hard outside and head out. The time is now 2:46.

We walk down Cootes, like the middle of Cootes and cavort about in the street. Bad idea. We're wearing crap shoes that arent boots and so we comically slip a few times and most importantly, we lose minutes. This bcomes quite significant later.

Eventually, we make our way to Ginos, and to our releif, the lights to the place are still on. We draw near and as we approach the door, cheeks rosy and smiles wide, we try to open it and... its locked.

We rattle the door, and look at each other in confusion, hoping to find answers. We see the owner sweeping the floor, gesturing with his hands and shaking his head. Suddenly, it hits us like a ton of bricks... theyve just closed shop for the night...
Our horseplay, which cost us precious minutes may have barred us from wings and pizza.

We sit at the curb, with traffic NOT whizzing by, saddened. But I see down the street a yellow light of hope...
"NUGGETS!" I yell, "We'll get nuggets from Mickey Ds!"

My two companions turn to look down the street and low and behold at the 24h Esso gas station, there IS a McDonalds. Once again, we scramble down the street towards our mecca, our paradise... our food. We approach the gas station shoes and jeans wet but with gleeful anticipation in our hearts. Only to have our hearts crushed like a hot tin can submerged in ice water. McDonalds is closed....

We strike up a conversation with the attendant and we learn that the McDonalds is no longer open late because of a few shenanigans pulled off by the blasted engineers. Apparently they had a pudding fight in the McDonalds. Damn the Engineers and damn their pudding fights! We leave the gas station and shake our fists in the general direction of the Engineer building. Once again we sit at the curb. It is 3:05ish.

We once again whine and complain.
"Are we SO hungry that we must continue?" one of us thinks aloud. But we decide that we have gone so far already, we've stayed up so late, we MUST press on. But where? The answer lay right in front of us, literally. Rising above us, across the street like some snow covered behemoth, lay THE PANCAKE HOUSE. Our mouths agape and eyes wide open in wonder, we rush across the street to see when it opens.

"At 6, six o'clock is when it opens!"

The sight of THE PANCAKE HOUSE has created within the three of us, this now craving for pancakes and sausages that can be stopped by nothing OTHER then pancakes FROM the pancake house. We decide to wait. It is now about 3:10.

"Im not wating here for like three hours" exclaims one of our motley crew. We all heartily agree, we all have a void within our stomachs and we certainly cannot wait for 3 or so hours for this establishment to open! So we wander further down Main Street.

We spy a "24 hour grocers" that is attached to a gas station. This establishment is called "Farah's"

I suggest that we just spend $20 to buy 1 loaf of bread and about 3 kilos of assorted processed meats. Quickly my idea is shot down. Farah's is described as "sketch". After giving the place an second look, I realize my folly and try to cover up by saying "lol guys I was only joking... like Jerry Seinfeld". They do not believe me.

Down the road, we see another golden light, BURGER KING. Finally, we are able to satiate our hungers. It is about 3:30.

We walk in, and to our great suprise, there are a bunch of people inside. They look to be lining up so we take our seats and wait untill the line shrinks a bit. No point in waiting standing up, when you can wait sitting down.

We wait, and wait some more and it seems like the line is not shrinking at all. Rex goes to question to people in the line and coems back with some interesting news. Apparently we wernt just imagining that the line was NOT moving, the fact was these people were not even in line. They were just inconsiderately in the way of everything to make it appear like they were in the line. pfft.

So we order our food and upon receiving it, the mass of people once again refuse to part for us and our food. I ask nicely if my food and I would pass, but none of them would even respond. I was forced to do some fancy acrobatics about a rail with a tray in one hand and a lidless cup of soda in the other. I spilled no drink and spilled no food.

Finally, after an hour of searching, we have food, warm and tasty food. Well... maybe not tasty, but warm food. We finish eating and look at our watches, its only like 4:00!

We have time to burn...

And so as legend came to pass, the three of us played the most almighty game of table hockey that resulted in the pounding of tables, gnashing of teeth and tearing of hairs. Tears were shed and trash talk was exchanged. This went on for what seemed like multiple days but really was only a few hours. Finally, at 5:50am with our eyes red from the lack of sleep, and limbs not quite responding, we once again walk into the cold and snowy night, to brave the elements and to make our way to paradise... PANCAKE HOUSE.

We arrive at PANCAKE HOUSE at 6:00, they are not open yet... But that changes at like 6:07. We get into the restaurant and gaze about in wonder at our surroundings... we are the first... we are.... champions.

We are quickly seated by an unsavoury waitress who doesnt seem to like us being first. And so we quickly order. As we sit and wait for our food, Rex, Jay and I sit back and quietly reflect on the events of the night that led us to this paradise. We all grin like fools. the food arrives and I look around the table, all three of us have the unmistakable sparkle in our eyes that denotes happiness. This sparkle are the tears caused by happiness that will never fall from our eyes because we are men. We quickly gobble down our victuals, quickly, but not racing one another, everyone is a winner when it comes to pancakes. We finish our meal and pay, and walk, then run back to residence. We are full, we are happy and we are thinking in our minds, when can we next experience the joy and laughter that is PANCAKE HOUSE...

2005-11-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end, list the names of people who are next in line to do this.

Before you actually move on to my post, prep yourselves for the overwhelming-ness of it by visiting this link. you wont regret it.

lol vader

1. The Food Network is by far my most favorite television channel EVER. There is no channel better then the food network. With the unbeatable line up of "The thirsty traveller", "Cooking with Christine Cushing", "Emeril Live" etc... how can a channel get any better? I love the food network. Whenever I go home for the weekend, I try to like catch up on my food network intake by just vegging out in fron the the TV and basking in the glory of the food network. Its the best. If i could watch one channel for the rest of my life, It would be Food Networld (though I would probably sleep during barefoot contessa cause that show smells like bad cheese)

2. I have a strange infatuation with iron chef. I think its a problem actually. But really, its THE perfect show. Theres action, excitement, GOOD FOOD, drama, and sports style commentary. Can it get any better? No it cant, thats why its THE perfect show. How deep does my love for iron chef go? Well i have 4.34 gigs of iron chef on my computer (so far) which amounts to about 13 hours of iron chef. If you were to ask me about a certain battle (that ive seen of course) id probably be able to name at least 1 dish produced from the iron chef and the challeneger and told you who won. Its kinda sad actually.

3. In my spare time I LOVE to find random weird humerous things on the internet. Stuff that usually only I would find funny. Stuff like lime cat, or POTAYTOES or the worlds strongest clown Its all awesome stuff. Most of the time I just watch this stuff, giggle for about 5 minutes and then forget about it forever. And sometimes i share them with other people and they dont find them funny cause theyre not like me.

4. I made pancakes myself this morning. Enough for like 4 people, but I ate them all myself. Thats not the cool part. You see, you need like to measure certain amounts out to make the batter and stuff. But I dont have a measuring cup. So i scratched my head, looked around and my eyes immediately centered onto something I got for free from Mac. Thats right, I used my welcome week nalgene bottle. As you will probably go to check out and find out later, there are lines on the bottle that tell you volume and everthing. So i took out my laminated periodic table i got for free from chemistry and I used it to funnel the Aunt Jemima's pancake mix into the bottle. Eventually i ended up with pancakes. It was fun, i felt empowered because I didnt need an actual funnel or an actual mixing bowl or an actualy measuring cup.

5. As of now, I lack the dexterity to do a forward roll (summersault). I find this really distressing and troubling. I discovered this when rehersing for that Koinonia talent show over the summer and instead of a forward roll, I just did like a sorta sideways-crash-into-people-roll. Eric Cheung just laughed at me. But yea, as of now, I cant do a forward roll. I need skillz.

SUPRISE

Umm I tag whomever reads this and hasnt done this already. HOW EXCITING!

2005-10-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

note to self:
if one is struggling to cut open a cow eye with a subpar scalpel, stop it... immediately. Failure to do so may result in spray-age of some vile black liquid.

Anatomy is loads of fun, i could take it forever.

2005-09-22T18:05:00.000-07:00

what the frick, im sick.

This sucks, my nose like leaks, but i struggle blowing it out cause like its plugged up too. So i get ripped off at teh student pharmecy and buy some tylenol cold, EXTRA STRENGTH. The only thing extra about them was their price. I feel doubly so ripped off, these pills did nothing for me. Im still leaking, still plugged up and now ive got this gross chunky cough. haha, i skipped my first lecture today, because i decided i already knew the stuff and that i needed a nap. So i took a nap, then ate old pizza. It was awesome. I need to go out and buy groceries really soon.

2005-09-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

Jason's fruits counter...
7 days without fruit, and counting....

Who wants to wager that i will be the first of the uni students coming out of mcbc to get scurvy?

2005-09-07T23:01:00.000-07:00

Frosh week so far has been pretty sweet. Ive met new people and ive met old people i havnt seen in years. Its been great. Suite = power because everyone wants to chill (literally, we got ac :D) at our place. Frosh has been fun, getting painted up for our residence, and then for our faculty. PJ parade was today, haha tres fun, but felt diirrrrtty afterwards. The science faculty cheer rocks

Sine! Sine! Cosine, Sine! 3.14159! (repeat as desired)

one of he keyes cheers is awesome.
(song to the tune hot in herre by Nelly)
Its getting hot in here, so turn off all your stoves
I am, getting to hot, i want to turn my stoves off!

haha stoves rock.

2005-09-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

So i was reading penny-arcade, my most favoritee online comic and origin of my desktop's wallpaper and i saw this comic strip. It reminds me of goodtimes with koinonia. (eric cheung, now that im gone, my nipples are safe from you)

p.s. Mac Rocks as does Keyes

WEST QUAD!
Mary Keyes!

2005-08-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

My schedule, if you actually care... I have a lot of morning classes and late friday classes, im sad. What makes me very sad is the 8:30 math class...

COURSE SECTION DAY/TIMES TERM EOW LOCATION

------ ------- --------- ---- --- --------

BIOLOGY 1A03 C03 T,R,F 11:30-12:20 1 MDCL/1305
L67 F 14:30-17:20 1 LS/107
T67 F 15:30-16:20 1 T13/105
LABS AND TUTORIALS ARE SCHEDULED EVERY OTHER WEEK, START
DATES WILL BE ANNOUNCED IN LECTURE AND ON WEBCT.
LAB MANUALS ARE AVAILABLE TO DOWNLOAD FROM WEBCT.

CHEM 1A03 C04 T,W,F 09:30-10:20 1 BSB/147
L55 W 14:30-17:20 1 E ABB/122C
ONE HOUR DROP-IN TUTORIALS ARE AVAILABLE MONDAY THRU FRIDAY
AT 09:30 AND 14:30 IN ABB/136. ATTENDANCE IS OPTIONAL.

KINESIOL 1YY3 C01 M,R 15:30-16:20 2 CNH/104
T 16:30-17:20 2
L08 W 11:30-13:20 2 T13/123
TUTORIALS ARE 20 MINUTE TEST TIMES - TBA AFTER FIRST CLASS.

KINESIOL 1Y03 C01 M,R 15:30-16:20 1 CNH/104
T 16:30-17:20 1
L08 W 11:30-13:20 1 T13/123
TUTORIALS ARE 20 MINUTE TEST TIMES - TBA AFTER FIRST CLASS.

MATH 1A03 C04 T,R,F 08:30-09:20 1 JHE/376
T28 F 10:30-11:20 1 BSB/135

MEDRADSC 1A03 C01 W 17:30-18:20 3 MDCL/1110
T02 M 09:30-10:20 3
T 10:30-11:20 3

MEDRADSC 1B03 C01 T,W,F 09:30-10:20 2

MEDRADSC 1C03 C01 M,W 08:30-09:20 2 CNH/B107
F 10:30-11:20 2

PSYCH 1A03E C05 M 19:00-22:00 2 BSB/147

SCIENCE 1A00 C01 TBA 1
ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY. SEE BULLETIN BOARD OUTSIDE GS/116
HTTP://WWW.SCIENCE.MCMASTER.CA/%7EASSOCIATEDEAN/SCIENCE1A00/
SCIENCE1A00.HTML FOR SCHEDULE

SCIENCE 1B00 C01 TBA 1
PLEASE LOGIN AT: HTTP://WEBCT.MCMASTER.CA. IF YOU EXPERIENCE
DIFFICULTY, PLEASE EMAIL: SCIHELP@MCMASTER.CA.

STATS 1CC3 C02 M,W 10:30-11:20 2 JHE/376
L11 R 11:30-13:20 2 BSB/245

2005-07-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

Chyeaaaaaaaa

Im in Keyes, all you hamiltonians can come and chill in my most chillingest crib ever. And by chill, I mean like make really good food on my stove.

2005-06-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

haha quick post, cause i have to finish packing and I gotta wake up at 4:00 tomorrow morning.

Tonight was my commencement, I thought it was going to be uneventful and really boring. So what ended up happening was good ol' Ontario Hydro failed, and there was a blackout IN THE MIDDLE of our commencement. So onesecond its like "Chan Bri-" and then you can;t hear anythign cause the mics cut off and the lights are off and girls are shrieking. (I think i was shrieking too cause its fun to make noise) so then we actually like halted the whole thing for a good 15 minutes so we could wait for the power to come back. In those 15 minutes, I did some hardcore reminiscing with "my homies". Haha, didnt realize I had so many memories shared with a lot of my friends, especially since I've onlyreally known them for at most 2 years. Good times and many laughes later, I find myself sweating in a big black awkward polyester gown, with a dorky square on my head, once again laughing with these good friends of mine. I love laughing with friends. Im going to miss laughing with friends from TSS. Crazy kids...

2005-06-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

This guy is actually cooler then gregg valentino for 10 reasons

1) he doesnt disgust me
2) I laughed
3) he juggles bowling ball
4) he can walk on glass
5) he can break bricks over his stomach
6) he can rip telephone books in half
7) he can walk on stilts
8) he can make animals dissapear/appear
9) he rides a buffalo
10)HES A CLOWN

this guy is my hero. Im so jealous of his skills.

2005-05-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

I have too much time on my hands behold, my personality type according to some internet thing.

Your #1 Match: ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.

You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #2 Match: INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Ill follow up with a real post of some sort later. Hmmm guess i AM a fruit.

2005-05-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

In the sprit of the whole Star Wars thing, I present to you something I found "a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away"

Star Wars Gangsta Rap

3d-ish version
original version

Enjoy and may the force be with you...

2005-04-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

Your dating personality profile:

Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your date match profile:

Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Religious
2. Liberal
3. Big-Hearted
4. Intellectual
5. Practical
6. Adventurous
7. Wealthy/Ambitious
8. Traditional
9. Outgoing
10. Sensual

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Religious
2. Big-Hearted
3. Practical
4. Traditional
5. Adventurous
6. Shy
7. Intellectual
8. Athletic
9. Funny
10. Romantic

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

" your heart is a wellspring of love."

I read this comment and actually lol'd.

2005-04-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

Derivatives - A love poem

Derivativess, derivatives how I love thee
Ill never leave you, not even to go pee
Product, quotient, power, and chain
From all rules of thee I would never abstain
Rate of change will you find me
of limits ever shall you set me free!
Derivatives such great joy have you brought to my life
I would go as far as to sing and play the fife.

(c) Jason Fok 2005

2005-04-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

Presenting, the one and only....

Gregg Valentino

I wish I had arms like this guy (sarcasm added to previous sentence by the buckets)

2005-04-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

So, I had night school tonight, but thats not the special thing. The teacher asks for a volunteer to bring the attendence up, and so the girl sitting behind me shoots her hand in the air and doesn't say "I'll gladly do it miss!", rather she says "I would, but Im much to tired..."

The excuse "I would but I'm *insert reason*" has got to be the lamest excuse ever. If you really wanted to do it, you'd actually do it, not say you would if the situation were different. This excuse serves no point, all it does is bring the hope, of that asking for help, up for a mere second and then smash it with the single word "but". Then you offer a weak and lame excuse that does nothing but make yourself feel better about yourself. "Im such a great person, I WOULD help this person out BUT the situation isnt to my advantage, i think ill voice it out so that EVERYONE will know im so great" No one thinks you're great, everyone thinks your dumb for opening your mouth. Its a selfish excuse to justify you being lazy and sitting your butt down instead of helping out. When someone asks for help, say YES or say NO. Better yet, scrap the no and just say yes. And not "Yes, BUT I have a papercut so I really can't" or some other lame excuse. Lame excuses when used in a non-sarcastic manner dont amuse me.
Stuff like this amuse me.

2005-03-21T20:15:00.000-08:00

this guy is cooler then that pancake rabbit

http://limecat.net/

2005-03-20T20:28:00.000-08:00

Best quote ever, made me giggle for a while

"I told my girl friend that if I had to choose between her and a waffle, I would be here eating a waffle with tears in my eyes."

2005-03-14T16:43:00.000-08:00

so today I had to do some first aid course thing. 8:30 - 5:30. So of course, Id done pretty much all of the stuff I "learned" today and I didnt really pay attention. But this isnt what todays writings are about. So today, I basically had nine hours to do nothing. Instead of doing nothing, I did some thinking. Thinking ranged from things such as, "dang im hungry, whens lunch" to "i hard I would have to throw my shoe off the instructor's head for it to rebound off and then strike everyone else in the head?" But at the end of the day, the one real thought that really sort of stayed with me was "Dang, God is like the best encourager ever." So where did this really come from? So during the nine hours I had to think, my thoughts suddenly strayed to the dinky "early" acceptance I got from Laurier. In the weeks leading up to the day I got that acceptance, really, everything was sucking. Alot. I was doing relatively well in school, but then again, it was only the 2nd or 3rd week into the semester. But at home, everyday, the parents would constantly, incessantly, loudly tell me everyday "do better Jason" and "no university is going to take you in" and other assorted phrases along those lines. Needless to say, all this wasnt exactly encouraging. At school, I believed I was working as hard as I possibly could, I was pulling 90's from really who knows where but my parents were still not convinced it was good enough. They were still stuck in "man Jason is getting 70's" mode. It really sucked cause I honestly was working as hard as I could, the hardest Id ever worked throughout highshcool and yet my parents were giving me no words of encouragemnet. I really had lost this drive to work so hard. If even my parents are going to say anything good, why do it at all? So then THE DAY came along. I had just finished school and feeling really tired. I get the mail and see the letter from laurier. I initially think its the confirmation letter, I had only sent in the application to Laurier 2 weeks earlier. So then I just toss it on the floor, thinking its nothing really insignificant.Long story short, my brother's keen eyes wasy the word "congratulations" and said it was probably something more then a confirmation. I later find out its an offer. So im pretty happy. In the end, what does this acceptance mean to me? Honestly, chances are im not going to Laurier, but this offer came at a time when I was feeling so down because work was just kicking my butt down the road (5 courses a semester will do that to you), I was working my butt of in 5 courses to get pretty good marks and my parents really could have cared less. So when I feel that my works is really amounting to nothing, along comes this little letter. Really, I know that the marks i had been getting had no bearing on the fact that they accepted me, but gettign this letter made me feel happy because it made me feel that really my work really was paying off. That even though my parents could have cared less that I was working my butt off, laurier cared. man What a way for God to say "Keep up the good work Jason." He gives me the best encouragement possible in the time when I need it the most. Thanks buddy.

2005-03-09T13:52:00.000-08:00

wow, this was unexpected. I have a conditional offer from laurier. Im kinda happy.

2005-03-05T11:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, Im so pissed off right now. So on Thursday, after our schools fellowship three of the leaders (including me) decide that saturday (which was today) we would meet up at 9:00am at Galleria at Commerce Gate for Breakfast. If it happened to be closed, we would decide at commerce where to go. So, key facts Saturday MArch 5, 9:00am at Gelleria. So today I wake up early instead of sleeping in. I wake up at 8:00 and do my stuff and drive down to Commerce. I get there at around 8:55, its always good to be early right? As expected, there was no one there, and Galleria was closed, they dont have breakfast. So no problem, I sit in the car and wait for them to arrive. Im listening to Vivaldi in the car and wait. By the time Im done listening to the 4 seasons, ther still is no one here. the 4 seasons is about 25 minutes long. So that makes the time around 9:20. So i give them the benefit of the doubt, i thought to myself , "Maybe is misheard and we're REALLY supposed to meet at 9:30!" So I wait, and now Im listening instead to Tchakovsky's Piano concerto no.1. This song is 21 minutes long, so when its over its around 9:40 and there STILL is no one here. At his point, im pretty cheesed off, Ive waited here in front of a closed restaurant for 40minutes. The security guard sitting the that little shack must think im up to no good. So then just to be safe I wait like another 10 minutes. In the end, I get fed up and leave. It is 10:00. I go to my local McDonalds and quickly eat a crappy McDonalds breakfast, because my family at home has already eaten and so theres isnt anything for me to eat at home. What a waste of $5. Later on, at like 2:00, Im on msn and one of the leaders messeages me and says, "hey can you join a program planning meeting tomorrow afternoon?" I respond with "what happened to breakfast?" Suddenly its like a lightbulb goes off. He then says "arg, guess I forgot to call you" Forgot to call me? Wow, so you decide that saturday isnt good anymore, call of the meeting and not tell me? Thanks for nothing. He then doesnt apologize and goes on to ask again whether or not I could make the rescheduled meeting tomorrow. Of course I say no, because I cant. Thats why I wanted th meeting SATURDAY MORNING AT 9:00 AM because thats WHEN IM FREE. Man. Inconsiderate. Wasted an hour of my life sitting in a car and all they basically say is "whoops guss we forgot to call you, now can you come to our meeting?" Even if I could go, I might not go, they might decide again t reschedule it and "forget to call me". Im really pissed.

2005-02-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

So today, I was thinking about university stuff, when all of a sudden a convversation from a few weeks back suddenly popped into my head. Those of you who heard it, will see the picture above and probably know which one it was. Basically we were talking about degrees and university and whatnot when suddenly out of nowhere my brother was like "man we can like impress the ladies at university with like our "degrees". Initially, he was tlakign about pretending to be smart and having a woman swooning for that man with a PhD in superduper magnificent i dont understand it but wish I could alkshks. I did not get this is so responded with this. "What are you gonna do? Like unbotton a few buttons and show off the degree of the hairyness of your chest?" After this everyone lauged, got in the act and great fun was had by all. Man good times. I still giggle like a little school girl because now whenever I see my brother, I will forever have a picture in my mind of him approaching a "lady" during his frosh week, asking the lady if she "wants to check out his degrees." and then suddenly rip open his shirt. His chest will have carpet glued to it to upgreade his "degree" and the "lady" will immediately laugh in his face or drop kick him in the head. Either ending would be eaqually funny. I aced another physics quiz today. I am happy. And I had taco bell, the day couldnt get any better.

2005-02-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

Its been over a month since I last blogged. so ill put something in cause i feel bad for my blog.

poor bread, the kids at school always point and laugh because hes got a crust.

2005-01-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

Alright, so Im updating again, because Im THAT cool. Todays topic, Television en Francais and I. So a few days ago, in the waning days of the much too short winter break, I was flipping through the television when low and behold, I come across one of them old school (about 5 years?) episodes of spiderman. The really cool spiderman from like 5 or 6 years back. So I go back and start watching. At first, Im not really getting anything. I think its cause Im so tired, that I cant even understand the simple language of the cartoon. But then after like 5 minutes of it, I realize. Its in French. I then laugh at myself for being so stupid, and I continue watching. Soon I get bored of not knowing whats happening, but instead of switching the channel, I just provide for myself an outrageous commentary, making up the most random things the people are saying.
Example
spiderman: I myself have a big pineapple upon knee!
venom: gadzzooks m'lord, who might have cause such a greivance upon you! Let me remove it for you!
*punches spider man across the room*
venom: Mr Frantato! Many apologies, I bgelieve I have missed and caused you a mortal wound.
spiderman: You knave!
end Example

That of course really is nothing like what they said in most likelyhood. It probably went something more along these lines.
spiderman: look out webhead, Im comin after you to ruin your plan
venom: you wish, you scrawny little bugger
*punches spiderman halfway across the room*
venom: haha pwned you. How do you like that! You lose!
spiderman: evil doer! you won win. I hope.

So yea, lesson? Watch more french TV, or just put your TV on mute and let the fun begin. I was laughing at my own commentary. How sad is that?

2004-12-23T09:04:00.000-08:00

J	Joyful
A	Amazing
S	Saintly
O	Odd
N	Normal

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Is it just me or iss odd and normal contradicting?

2004-12-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

http://www.snopes.com/photos/commercials/bigburger.asp

For those for you that wanted to see "THE" big burger, follow the link and be astounded. Turns out I was wrong on many levels. Only 12 slices of cheese and 6 lbs. Looks massive though.
href="http://www.snopes.com/photos/commercials/bigburger.asp">

2004-11-30T20:34:00.000-08:00

www.yummybaguette.com
This is my new home.

2004-11-28T20:15:00.000-08:00

So, yesterdays little joke doesnt really count as a good funny. So today, after coming back from a function thing beside the airport in which I had to play music for a bunch of sullen people, I reached within the folds and confines of my brain for a topic that would be worthy enough to write about.

Behold my friends, the lobster. Other then being the namesake of a nationwide seafood franchise, you may be asking, "Wow Jason a lobster, so what, I could care less, though they DO taste oh so delectable." So what IS so special about lobsters? Quite a lot actually. They are quite THE survivors. Every year, during that time when they lay their eggs, each female lays about 10,000 eggs. Whoa! 10000?!?! Yes, but of the 10,000, only 1% (or 10) of the eggs survive. Of these 1 percent, each and every year, ton and tons of lobsters are captured every year and consumed.
Lobsters live quite a logn time as well, but sadly, they dont grow all to big, even through old age. they can grow to be more then 10 pounds, though those are quite rare. Lobsters weighing at about 8 lbs can be 20 - 50 YEARS old. The largest lobster ever caught weighed 42.4 lbs, and was estimated to be well over 100 years old. Imagin sitting in front of that beast and just sinking your teeth into that delicious meat. Lobster make me smile cause they're so old and red (when cooked).

Jason out.

2004-11-27T13:28:00.000-08:00

Sausage Joke:
There are two sausages in a pan, one turns to the other and says "Boy its hot in here". The other sausage says "OH MY GOODNESS ITS A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!".

A friend sent that to me earlier today. I laughed.

2004-11-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

Hmm, ive been reading through Mclean's annual university Rankings for the past few days. Its quite a good read actually. One of the most suprising things actually was the rankings. U of T was dethrones this year as best overall :D. Heres the top 10 best overall universites in Canada according to Mcleans. bolded ones are the ones that suprised me.

1. Waterloo
2. U of T
3. Queens
4. McGill
5. Guelph
6. McMaster
7. Alberta
8. UBC
9. Western
10. Simon Frasier

First off, Guelph suprised me. Very much so actually. It placed withing the top 5 beset overall, and was second only to Western in best comprehensive university (meaning it has a variety of ungrad and graduate programs, but no med school) I had always thought of Guelph as some "hick" farmer's school but now, its changed. It beat out big names, McMaster and Western namely. Hmm quite interesting, might consider applying to it.

The rankings of both Western and McMaster confused me, they didnt place badly, within the top 10, but at the same time, I had expected them to do better. Looking at the top 10, 6 of the 10 universities are in ontario. 2 in BC, 1 in Quebec and 1 in Alberta. Shows how much tasty universities we have in Ontario. Its good to live in Ontarios.

For Cheryl and Cy, if you wish to know, York placed 24th, which is respectable. The laughable Nipissing placed 45.

2004-11-08T20:26:00.000-08:00

If you see this pizza, and think its another blog about food, think again. It isnt. At all. Just an observation on how gross people can be. So today, in calculus, we get back our test done on friday. As predicted, I was rocked, but I DID beat the class average by more then 30%, which really isnt saying much, as the class average was 30%. Anyways, the class was "punished" with a work period, meaning while the teacher ate sour keys, we worked straight out of the textbook for the whole period, 1hour and a bit. It was boring, AND warm in the class AND the last period of the day AND it was Monday. Needless to say, i wanted to get out. So I request to go to the lavatory. So I take my time getting down to the washroom, I read every sign along the way, go to the washroom at the other side of the school, socialize with people I dont know too well etc. So in the end, I wind up at the washroom. So as Im about to do my business, I see what at first was one of the most random sights i have seen in a long while. I saw a pizzacrust in the urinal. At first it found it funny. Then it hit me like a 600 pound man on roller blades. For there to be a pizza crust IN the urinal, i means that some disgusting male must have been munching on pizza as he was urinating. The totally grossed me out. Some guy was whizzing away WHILE munching on PIZZA. What kinda of sicko would do that?! Its disturbing, it really is. I hope i never encounter this guy, lest I recoil in utter distaste and hurt his feelings.

Jason out.

2004-10-16T13:39:00.000-07:00

I found this news article on the net:

An Icelandic fishing captain named Sigurdur Petursson jumped into the ocean and grabbed a 660-pound shark with his bare hands intercepting it as it swam towards his unsuspecting crew.
After he caught the shark he dragged the shark into the shallow water by its tail, onto dry land and then killed it with his knife.
Eye witnesses say that there was blood all around him in the water but as it turned out all of that blood came from the shark!
" He caught it just with his hands. There was a lot of blood in the sea and the shark came in and he thought it was dangerous ," Frede Kilime , a hunter and fisherman who watched from the beach, told Reuters .
To me this man is a hero.

So, after reading this, what thoughts filled my head?
1. This captain is THE man.
2. Hero, that word is used more loosely then a stretched out rubber band.

If we used this sailor captain guy as the standard for heros, thousands of fathers across american that get father's day cards saying "you're my hero for getting that PS2 for me at Christmas", would have to get their hero license revoked.

Ifwe arent careful, we're going to do the same to the word hero that we did to maximum. According to our good friend dictionary.com, maximum means "the largest possible quantity" or "the greatest possible degree". If this is true, why do we have, other then maximum security prisons we have Super Maximum Security prisons. How did we end up needing MORE then the "greatest possible quantity or degree"? Doesnt make sense to me. Pretty soon, you arent going to be a hero, you're gonna have to be like a super mega awesome indestructable I stand in awe of you hero. So before this all gets out of hand lets keep this simple; In order to be a hero, you simpy must do something heroic. Lets say something heroic is when someone does something larger then life for good. Good meaning something that is immediately beneficial for someone outside yourself. By that standard, not all police officers are hero, not even a majority of them. Lazy ones especially. Those are the dangerous ones, instead of running down a crook, they'll shoot a few rounds into their back to save their breath and claim in the end it was in self defense. Yea, maybe against a heart attack for running more then youve run in the past 20 years. Lazy cops dont have large guts cause they can run 100M in 13 seconds. Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against cops, Im just saying that only police officers that do something heroic are heros. For the rest that hangout in speed traps to catch the odd speeder or those that hassle skaters in a parking lot, sorry you dont qualify as a hero. Kinda like how being a soldier doesnt immediately qualify you to be a hero either. But then you go and say "but Jason, they ge shot at day in and out, for their COUNTRY!!!"
Then I go and say "cool, getting shot at sucks but sorry gang members get shot at too." Im not giving you any extra hero credits for getting shot at while attempting to overthrow a government. As far as Im concerned the bullets coming from al-Qaeda and The Crips are all the same. Getting shipped off to some weird unknown country because only Mr Bush knows why falls into the "its a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it" section, and so voids you from that hero status. Belly flopping onto a live grenade to save your fellow soldiers is heroic because well, thats not a part of your job. And if for some reason, your job IS bellyflopping on grenades, you need a new job and youre not a hero. So what are you to gather from all this wool gathering? to be a hero, one needs to employ hero logic in your descision making process. In other words, you cant have common sense. Thats what makes heros so amazing.
Example 1. Captain America.
There is no way Captain American should have been ok with going out and fighting hordes of angry Nazis in only a skin tight chain mail costume and a matching garbage can lid painted to resemble an american flag. Like said earlier... no common sense. Which is why Captain America rocks the socks.
Example 2. Firemen and 9/11
Going into the World Trade Centres after TWO jets full of jet fuel had smashed into them, in order to get loads of people to safety. Now THAT is heroic, know why? Simply because running into a burning building with a plane parked on the 57th floor lacked common sense.
Thank goodness for heroes.
If her had sense that they should have had to being with, the death toll at 9/11 would have been like 20X greater, Captain America would have missed half the war busy negotiating for something more then skin-tight chain mail and a garbage can lid, thus enabling the Nazis to conquer the world and our good friend, THE man, the captain, the sailor, Sigurdur Petursson would be hanging up flyers all around town looking for a new crew for his fishing boat.

2004-10-01T13:43:00.000-07:00

Sweet, im an official member of my schools Jewish Culture Club.

2004-09-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

pita

My friends, the time has come for me to speak of the most wonderful middle eastern (i think) bread, which is flat known around the world as pita [bread]. The word bread is optional. So pita, what is so remarkable about this bread? Well have you ever cut one in half? Those of you who are quite observent will realize that its holloW!!!! If you're the inquisitive person that I know you are, youre probably thinking "tell me more Jason!" If youre not thinking that, get out. Now. Please. This is only for those who only wished to be enlightened. Enlightened of the way of pita. Now the secret is, well, the pita is actually a balloon. "Yea, sure it is Jason, youre crazy, and have no life, go home" I bet youre all thinking that right now. Well the fact is, pita REALLY is a balloon, a bread balloon. Yea, that makes even more sense. Because of where we live, chances are, we've never really seen a pita, fresh out of an oven, to see it in its most pristine and un tainted form. Observe:

Ha! thats right, it really is a bread balloon. Thats why pita is so cool. And later on, when they package it and you find it at your local grocery store, you see it in its ready to eat form.

I call it tasty mode. But thats just me.

2004-09-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

alright, i cant think of anything to write about, so ill keep it light, like whipped cream, which gives me an idea.

Behold.

This is the wonderful confection and tasty topping known to mankind as (insert triumphant music) WHIPPED CREAM. You may be reading this right now and thinking "pfft, whipped cream, who cares". Well the fact of the matter is... I care! Well, i really dont, but yea, whipped cream makes for an interesting subject. So what exactly IS whipped cream? Those of you that arent cool and don't watch the food network enough probably dont have any clue as to what it is or how it is made. All you know is that it tastes good on sundaes and on banana splits. Thats not good enough. You have to know that whipped crea is in fact, whipped cream. Cream (i think its like 50% fat content) thats been so severely beaten and whipped (not necessarily BY a whip) that air is being incoperated into the liquid until voila, you get the light fluffy sweet stuff we know and love as whipped cream. Once again you say "so what JAson? who really cares, go home and sleep". Well, first, im already at home, second, id sleep if i could (i got a test tomorrow) and third, im going to tell you anyways and theres nothing you can do about it. The question is, what ever compelled a man (or woman) to beat/whip/harass/choke/massacre... a bunch of cream until it wasnt really a liquid no more. Did a roach fall into a jar and some idiot in a sudden irrational train of thought decided to test if the roach could breath in cream and shake the bottle really hard. Who knows, all I know is what it is and that it tastes oh so light (like my blog was supposed to be) and tasty. GOOOOOOO whipped cream.

2004-09-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

School stinks more then a slice of bacon left on the sidewalk for an outrageously hot week in the summer. School in its current ghastly form is the most horrible ever concieved by man. School once used to be a great place. A place to learn just for the heck of learning. Now school (high school specifically) is a place to MEMORIZE (not learn) a bunch of stuff that most likely you really dont want to learn just so you can get high marks. Marks? im sure back in the days of Plato, Aristotle and all them smarts people, they didnt have these marks to give out, let alone earn. Them greeks were cool. And now, in highschool, we have a bunch of information to memorize so we can at a later time regurgitate it onto a piece of paper. An exception may be math, but still, youre memorizing formulas and such to apply to later questions. It would be cool if school was optional and you could go only cause you wanted to learn specific stuffs. For example, I loved gr.11 bio, but gr.12 bio stunk. Only cause I hate the biological processes and all that garbage. Gr.11 bio was awesome cause it was all the physiology stuffs and dissections and that was fun. Same with math, calculus isnt bad and almost fun. And English is cool, except for the essay stuff.

I wish I was an ancient Grecian, minus the pagan part just so I could wear a toga, and learn all sorts of cool stuffs.

2004-09-07T20:37:00.001-07:00

great, I had something actually prety good written down, its not here anymore, Im angry

2004-09-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

Why does school suck so much. I detest school with a passion, or atleast what it has become now a days. Back in the day (hundreds, if not a thousand or 2 years ago)school was school. A place where those who actually wanted to learn badly enough that they would fork over a bunch of cows (I dont think currency existed then). People with a mind so eager to be filled with knowledge that teachers were eager to dispense. Back in the day teachers were respected and were important cause they were so dang smart. And later on when larger educational institutions such as universities were created, learning was brought to a whole new level. Intellectuals who were willing to broaden their thought and mind came together to learn and just learn for the sake of learning. Today school sucks. It is taken for granted, and it no longer serves the purpose that it was meant to. Highschool is to be finished in 4 years, that or you're labled stupid. Governments have sucessfully created an atmosphere where you really dont learn at all. Rather, all one does is read, memorize and regurgitate, this isnt learing or gaining knowledge. Even a child can memorize words, but most of the time, they know not what the words they memorize means. Universities have changed as well for the most part. People go to university/college today only because they see it as a stepping stone from highschool to a career, not a place of higher learning, a place to broadens one mind and learn new things that wouldnt have been possible in a Highschool. A single class in university has possibly hundreds of students. Hundreds of smart, clever minds contained within a single room, yet because of the way highschool works, they only do what they learned to do in highschool, shut up and listen to the guy at the front of the class. A hundred brilliant, clever minds contained in a room with so much possibilty and they are reduced to sitting, listening and writing notes, only to once again memorize and regurgitate.

2004-09-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

This is the best page in existence.

http://www.samsfarmsite.smartemail.co.uk/pigs.html

2004-08-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

Amazingly, Ive found a place that has free internet, in New Brunswick. The sign says " Free Internet! Say hello from New Brunswick!" So thats what Im doing. Gas costs 94.7 a litre, thats not cool. I had a gravy burger yesterday, that was tasty.

2004-08-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

www.kfccruelty.com

dont watch some of the videos on the site unless you've got a strong stomach.

So the day we ate dinner with Lumas, some people ate some KFC, I had a tiny bit and it tasted good. The next day, I talk to Tim and he brings up ABC news, or something along those lines. What happened was, after being stuffed by an overwhelming amount of fried chicken and other assorted sides, he went home and watched some TV. What was on TV was some sort of story on the cruelty that KFC used to kill their chickens. It was nasty stuff (i.e. ripping off their beaks, boiling them alive, running across the room and booting them in the head, breaking legs etc...) All in all, its pretty disgusting and gross. I for one would NEVER eat a chicken, even one fried if I had known it was boiled alive, had its head crushed in by a boot or what not. Many would say, well, dead is dead, whats the difference if it was shot or was boiled to death. Well, theirs that fact of my guilty conscious (sp?) making me want to vomit every time I want to ingest a piece of fried chicken that belongs to a chicken that may have been boiled alive, squacking and convulsing because its in so much excruciating pain. Not really fun. As horrible as this is, the site is kinda ridiculous in its demands for KFC, it IS afterall PETA, a wannabe Green Peace, so one couldnt take them too seriously. But I for one, until this matter is settled will NOT be consuming KFC, ever.

2004-08-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

Today I had nothing better to do after church then to ponder and shake my head at the ridiculous excuse of an article that the Minp Pao Daily published. Im not gonna blog about that as it'll make me angry. Rather I'll blog about something else I was thinking about today: The Cheese Omelette. The egg and cheese (sometimes processed cheese) cooked and formed into a crescent shaped yellow mass oozing molten cheese and occasionally molton egg. This may sound tasty to some, and on occasions it DOES sound tasty to me. But while pondering upon the cheese omelette today, i can say that I was quite disgusted at the thought of consuming one. Two of the world's things that really shouldnt have been eaten ever mixed together in harmony to create this world reknown(sp.?) breakfast item. First, eggs. What ever posessed the first man/woman to consume this strange round object that had fallen out of the bottom of a chicken.. What appears to be the same orifice from which fecal matters is excreted. He/she must have been desperately hungry to consume this egg. The second object within the cheese omelette is of course, LE FROMAGE. yes fromage, cheese a lot of people like it, me being one of them. BUT what exactly is cheese? Basically, its curdled milk, with a few enzymes added to it. Then pressed (to get rid of cheese juice) and shaped. CURDLED MILK = SPOILED MILK. This means that some poor chap a LONG long time ago, had milk. And was expecting to drink milk. But when he/she poured himself a nice tall glass of milk, nothing came out. Well, something did, it just wasnt liquid. A block of curdled milk, curdled just the way you like it. The person must have been thinking "Well this is interesting, maybe its like a milk popsicle" They bite it and voila, cheese is brought into this world. Now what really bugs me is who ever conceived the notion of even bringing such wrong food together into the most horrendous (and sometimes most tasty) union. Thats another question for another day, as after pondering about cheese omelettes and the total extent of its disgusting factor, my head started hurting. I then had an asperin and went out for dinner with an old man. Oh the dilemma, Cheese Omelettes, you attract me yet you repel me at the same time, I am torn.

2004-07-29T19:29:00.001-07:00

Im going camping tomorrow. It will be fun. Leeches suck

2004-07-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

http://www.muhealth.org/~news/images/leech.jpg">
Im going camping tomorrow. Its going to be fun. Leeches arent cool.

2004-07-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Stupid dog. So i wake up this morning at 7:00 am and Im dead tired. You may be thinking "Well if youre so tired Jason why in the world did you decide to wake up so dang early you crazy muffin you!" Well i actually didnt "decide" to wake up this early. My dog "decided" to wake me up this early. Apparently he thought it would be cool/humerous/amusing/tasty to jump on the bed and proceed to start chewing his most vile tennis ball in my face. But it wasnt the nasty stench that woek me up, i was still sorta sleeping when he started squishing essence of tennis ball into my face. It was when he decided to make himself confortable on my face id I wake up. He decided to sleep/chew his ball on top of my face. He just about suffocated me. I open my eyes and questions filled my head. "why cant I breath, why is it so dark, why does it smell like nasty dirty tennisball, why is it furry" My first thought was "great, im dead, and ive yet to watch Spiderman 2" Then the furry mass on top of my head shifted his weight and it was then I realized my dog was on my face. Stupid dog, it just about killed me. So I reared back and shouted at it and it immediately turned tail and slunk out my room with its tail between its legs. Stupid dog.

2004-07-05T17:17:00.000-07:00

Ping: He truly is a yellow duck

No, i really didnt go to the restaurant, rather I was at home, eating massive amounts of left over meats from yesterday. And my father thought that there wasnt going to be enough food. theres at least 100 left over wings, like 15 pork shops and a sack (5.some odd pounds) of uncooked beef short ribs. for those who came yesterday, many apologies about the lack of AC. The turkish men that we hired to fix it up about 3 weeks ago managed to obliterate our machine and expect us to pay for it. Silly turks. For those of you that didnt come, you missed out on a meaty (and pie-liscious) extravaganza. Today, I asked mother the source of those femanine books, apparently they are from some sort of family friend (who happen to have a adaughter). They didnt want the books so they left it at out doorsteps. How very clever. They have sucessfully disposed of their useless garbage upon our doorstep while making it look like they were giving us a gift. Gift indeed, my brother and I happen to be male, whilst a majority of the books left upon our doorstep were those usually reserved for females. Though there were one or two good books in the bunch. Namely "a Duck names Ping". Hmmm doest seem quiet humerous now but at the time I nearly soiled myself laughing boisterously at the silly name. Ping, i was almost expecting his brother to be named Pong! Sadly, i was wrong, though at the end of the book, as Ping was walking up the gangplank to the wise-eyed sampan, he was spanked across the back with a hickory switch! Silly ping, you so funny! Yesterdays softball game (or lack thereof) was cancelled. Stupid rain, my dumb fleece and shoes are still wet. I laugh heartily at darren, assuming his shoes are still wet as well. Hah its funny, we didnt even eat (beef) steaks yesterday.

2004-06-29T08:22:00.001-07:00

congrats to our not so new Prime Minister. Doesnt look awfully happy considering hes just won. Hmmm my thoughts on Mr. Martin: I think hes quite competant and really hope he does a good job. A second chance hes got from the votes and a second chance was what he deserved. In the 4-5 months he was Prime Minister beefore the election, he hadnt really done much to astound me, other then the fact that a massive scandal, which had happened while Good ol' Jean was in power, was uncovered. Stephen Harper's campaign was at the end of the race, made to look like he was some sort of crazed power hungry soon to be dictator of sorts. With his attacks on Paul Martin and mentioning an alliance with the Bloc, he was staring to look quiet unappetizing, like cheese thats been left in the hot sun for a few hours. Paul Martin wasnt any better but to most of Canada he seemed a better choice then Harper. Maybe Canadians dont like cheese. kudos to the NDP for getting more votes then the Bloc (despite getting less seats) and not making a large fool of yourselves like what happened in the provincial election.

2004-06-29T08:22:00.000-07:00

sweet, the top of my page has ads for

1) Fresh Idaho potatoes: grown in Idaho and shipped directly to your door!

2)LowCarbCare PanCake: Low Carb Gram's Gourmet pancake mix Pancake, Waffle & More!

i love it.

2004-06-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

Man Im so tired, I need some caffeine. Why thankyou rabbit! How nice of you to offer some. If only my dog were as faithful as you were kind sir (or dare I say it madame!). Silly axams. I wish I had a rabbit that would serve me fresh rabbit on cookie... oh how I wish I did... I would pet it and name him Cuba. I can imagine it already... Good cuba. *pats head* *cuba in and outburst of happiness proceeds to fetch Jason another cookie maybe even a bad of potatoe (yes I know ive misspelled potato) chips. Man, i need sleep. Stupid beetle

2004-06-14T20:53:00.000-07:00

Once school is over, Im gonna miss the lunch ladies. They always gave me extra bacon in my BLT, more fries in the poutine and and extra perogie at times when I looked hungry. I love them lunch ladies.

2004-06-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

I want to make a sandpaper contest, so before the contestants start I can say "The last man sanding is the winner!"

2004-06-02T22:42:00.000-07:00

on a side note, Clagary is guaranteed to win. Wanna know why I think so? Its cause Tampa eliminated Montreal. Look it up, never in history has a team ever won the Stanley cup after eliminating Montreal. It rocks, thank goodness for the Canadiens bringing the cup to Canada.

2004-06-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Biology makes me cry. Well, the childish grade 6 sort assignment that i have to do. Well, what I do is read an article from a scientific American Magazine, then I write a report (which I did not mind doing) AND a silly working model of the biological processes. I can build anything if my life depended on it. I can only do lego, and thats only when there are those silly instructions provided. Stupid assignment. Youll rue the day you were brought into creation through the fiendish minds of mine biology teacher. I need more written reports to do, those I dont mind because i can write page after page of nonsense and make it make sense so I can get a good mark. I cant do this with a silly model. I hate models.

2004-06-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

Camping. How I long to take a week off and camp, which is exactly what I, along with my family (and a few others I believe) arae doing come August. I really cant wait to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life and just go up north with my Risk set and fishing pole. Just sit, sleep, lounge and play Risk. Savour and appreciate the natural earth the way God meant it to be (or close enough to it anyways.) Two months till this week of lounging, and I cant wait.

Where can I go out and buy a ruby ball?!

2004-05-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, i had a rugby game today, first time I played the entire game, I just about died. Haha we won, it was against MDHS, only an exhibition game though. Lots of fun. I gave some poor kid a concussion, i feel bad for him but he was foolish and wasnt looking about when he bent over to pick the ball.

2004-05-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

We played rugby against Stouffville today, they are AMAZING.Needless to say, we lost, not much albeit. They only got 3 trys against us in the first half and they got one in the seconds half (but within the last 5 seconds). They are favorites to take OFSAA this year, read the paper, there was even some dude form the Toronto Star taking pictures of us (when I say us, i really mean Stouffville) play. Beautiful Rugby was played today on both sides, especially by Stouffville. I doubt we'll make ofssa this year, but whatever, we;re supposed to be Tier II, not I. oh well. It was really fun though, only one concussion. Man those South Africans really know their rugby

2004-05-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, I now officially hate biology,why? Today, while studying, i turned a page in the textbook. Actually i turned two by accident and guess what happened. a DOUBLE papercut. You can actually see the two canyons its almost funny, except it hurts. What kind of stupid textbook gives you a double papercut, i hate biology now because of it

2004-05-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

Well, the LEafs are eliminated, and frankly, i could care less. Why not? Well, first off, the whole team just wasnt functioning, they sucked overall. When Tie Domi is the best performer, due to the fact that hes actually trying, well, sorry, you just need to take some time off, play some golf and evaluate why you're playing hockey professionally. Second, my pain was dulled by the fact that Pizza Nova was selling pizzas for 3.99, I was in paradise, I ate two pizzas myself and had wings while watching the game, it was awesome. Ha, i realized just today during rugby practice why UHS stinks and doesnt have a rugby team.

1. Its Arts York, All the Arts York males are probably all fruity and couldnt play rugby if their lives depended on it
2. A majority of the makes in the school are either
a) FOBS, their too weak to play
b) Gangsta, they're too cool to play.
3. Not enough south Africans, I think there are like 5 south africans on our team, theyve all been playing since they would pretty much walk and I am in awe of their skill.

K, those are the reasons why UHS doesnt have a rugby team this year, not to mention the fact they their team STUNK so much the past few seasons, they were the team that ANYONE could beat. Ha ha ha!

Oh and Cyrus, if you've read the minutes, there supposed to be a Coffee House meeting at your house THIS saturday at 8:00pm, just in case yuou forgot, and if you did forget, is you house still open?

2004-05-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Oh man, todays game was just PATHETIC. Midgets on skates could have done better then they did. They did so badly, im not even dissapointed, just disgusted. If they play like that EVER again, they really dont deserve to win the cup. The playing tonight was just disaterous. EVeryone on the team sucked, not just a few select people. They played like pathetic minor leaguers. The playing that was exhibited on games 3 and 4 were not in sight. All I saw was a weak, frail pathetic team that just rolled over and let itself be massacred by Philly. Just pathetic.

2004-04-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

Wow, Canucks vs. Flames, game 7, just totally amazing.

Just amazing. iginla pulls clagary ahead2-1 with like 5 mins remaining. Then he has a chance to give them the win with a minute left. Iginla misses oppen net. So someone (dont remember the name) goes and ties it with 6 SECONDS LEFT. Amazing, i think my heart exploded from all the excitement. Only a single overtime though. Heh, Flames win game and series. Wow, such a great game.

2004-04-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

Jason's First Round Picks

Eastern Conference

Tampa vs. Islanders

Tampa is doing awesome, and theyve got St.Louis, all that the Islanders have is their really bright, really ugly orange jerseys. Who knows, they justm ight throw St. Louis if his game and scare Khabibulan into submission, so I say Tampa in 5

Boston vs. Montreal

This one is oging to be close. Both have relatively good goal tending. Bruins got Raycroft and Montreal has Theodore. Problem is, Theodore hasnt really done as well as he did when the Habs defeated boson in the postseason 2 years ago. If Theodore steps it up, they have a chance, other then that, i htink they're gone. Boston in 6

Philly vs. Jersey (The New One)

This is going to be a good one, be prepared to see some good fights. Jerseys got Brodeur, enough said. But unfortunately Stevens has like a concussion of some sort and cant really play till next season, so dont expect the Devils to go to far. Philly got Markhov at the mid0-season trade and hes helped to fill the hole various injuries have left in the offense. Again, dont expect these guys to go too far, to many injuries.
Jersey in 7

Leafs vs. Ottawa

Ha, this is going to be great, prepare to see the biggest massacre in history. Problem is, Leafs might get a bit too cocky. Leafs have obvious advantage in net with Belfour, but hes got that back of his. If he screws it up, the whole team is screwed. The entire playoff run literally rides on Belfour's back. Leafs so got this one
Leafs in 5

Western Conference

Detroit vs. Nashville

Far as I know, Wings are starting with LEgace, so its over for Nashville. Itll be over pretty fast, but watch out for Tootoo, he'll be sure to sstart up some lovely fights. Just wait for those end of 3rd period brawls where the whole bench empties. Detroit in 5

San Jose vs. St Louis

Jose has Nabokov, and Louis has got Osgood. Both are relatively good goaltenders, but Osgood hasnt been performing as well as he has in the past. A pity Irbe from Jose is injured, otherwise it would be in the bag. This is gonna be another close one. San Jose in 7

Vancouver vs. Calgary

I really dont care who wins this one. All I know is that both coaches suck, they really cant control their players, which will lead to some very "lovely" situations. I can already imagine the mayhem that is going to be on the ice. See how Crawford just set Bertuzzi on Moore, now imagine a bench full of Bertuzzis (minus the skill). Itll be a huge joke, but i want to cheer for the under dog, and go with Maggie the Monkey from TSN. I say Flames in 7

Colarado vs. Dallas

Colarado has been slipping for some strange reason since the Bertuzzi/Moore incident. And both teams have relatively stable goal tending. Dallas in 5

And thats that, newpredictions come second round. Just watch all of my picks (except for LEafs/Sens) be wrong. Who is going to be that flukey team of this year?

2004-04-04T18:49:00.000-07:00

you know the worlds not right when North America has a problem with Obesity and so many countries around the world have problems with starvation

2004-03-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

Wow, check out these 2 random links

1) http://www.missblackwidow.com/drugs.html ever wonder how a spider web wouldlook if the spider that made it was high on some drug? Well ownder no more for the answer is here!

2) http://3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592.jp/ if you ever want to memorize like the first million numbers of pi, this is the site for you. And i dont know if this page ever ends, i think it just keeps calculating and calculating. its insane

2004-03-30T20:03:00.000-08:00

TOday, rugby "practice". The term practice is used ever so lightly. I expected to use to gym today so that we might actually toss the ball about. I was wrong. Thornlea unfortunately, only has 2 gyms, a "big" gym and "small" gym. The Big gym was taken by the badminton team, so i thought, hey practice must be in the small gym. I arrive at the small gym, only to discover our schools Christian Fellowship frolicking about in the gym. At this point I become mildly confused, mild like mildly spiced buffalo wings. I await the instructions of our coach, who graciously decided to show up late. And it is here where the news of great doom is announced. "We shall be running laps about the track outside" This might not sound so bad at first, but consider this
1) Its raining
2) Its like 10 degrees centigrade
3) Im wearing shorts and a t-shirt
4) I really hate running.

So, what ends up happening, 1 hour of straight jogging about the track followed by 30 pushups and 20 "burpees" im so exhausted, muddy and tired at the end of it all, not to mention i couldnt feel my arms cause they were SOOOO cold. Apparently, our coach said that it was "manly" of us to stick around for this practice, I would have used a better word, try INSANE. Man, and i thought last week's practice was hard, hehe level 4.5 on beep test. Whos out of shape?! I AM! I cant wait till we can do some hitting and play with the balls, i might hit coach by accident. Oh yea, while we were doing this "manly"exercise, coach was standing about, with an UMBRELLA and a MUG OF COFFEE, what a wuss.Minesweeper, darren may have the fastest time of completing a game, but who else can boast of dying at 0 seconds?! Ha! I know I can. And no cheating on custom either.

2004-03-19T20:12:00.000-08:00

TC 2004

Quite wonderful, starting with the juniors.

First day, they really sucked, man, if i had like less patience, they would have felt the hand. But meh, haha second day, so awesome, they actually did the cheer, so cool, even came up with new ideas and what not. haha biggest bannerin conference, Junior AND Senior, if you think otherwise, bring it! Thank goodness for Liann, there were times where i just had to like slack and like sit for a bit, and Liann would do stuff for me, heh. Voice at the end of Junior conference, it was kinda gone, but still there, i sounded like i had drank some hot sand for breakfast.

Senior
Such a cool group, and the name, Didymus, now i know Didymus = Thomas (as in doubting Thomas). Our group, most people were like enthusiastic and what not, but then, they didnt havel ike the volume. Heh, even i didnt have the volume, my voice died on me at the end of the first rec time. I sounded like someone had whipped a frisbee at my throat. How do I know this? hehe 2 years back, I was playing ultimate frisbee, went up to intercept a pass, and BOOM (dynamite) i was struck in the throat. But back to TC... Yea, so our group didnt end up winning, but meh. 2nd night, after the message and what not, went mad overtime but who cares. Many people, brought down to their knees, everyone (or most people anyways) just praying hard for one another. It was so amazing. Worship, oh yes, quite fun. hehe Darren, telling me the junior team was better, lies. You guys were better man, such modesty. Darren is now my singing hero, kinda like a minstrel of days long gone.

2004-03-12T21:18:00.000-08:00

Beautiful, thats what today was. First, woke up nice and late (as i did not have school like some other people did). At around 10-ish. I realize, dang, i have to get going soon, for "The Breakfast". Darren calls and says no, Jess (Jon's sister and our driver) hasnt woken up. So its scheduled for 11-ish. We get there and eat viet food, Mmmmm i love pho, a bit heavy on the msg though. Next, we went to Loblaws, we each got 2 bottles of Grace Ginger Beer, and i got a chocolate spongebob, he was brown, and had freaky blue eyes. He makes me laugh. Then there was Super Smas Bros. 99 lives + 200% dmg.... = mayem. There was some points in the game that so much was going on, it would lag really bad. Man it rocked, i just about got like blisters or sukthing on my hands from all the playing. Afterwards, we had an impromptu jam session, quite fun. And the grand finale...pizza, with more ginger beer and a slice of pie, with vanilla ice cream at the side, wonderful, beautiful, tasty. I loved it. Then there was fellowship.

END

2004-03-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

Excellent, and March Break begins. And i cant wait to go back to school already. Hehe rugby starts the tuesday after the break. Jason, prepare to get socks rocked

2004-03-10T15:20:00.000-08:00

What a sad sad day, Ive just learned that Mr Fernand Lechance is dead. You're probably wondering eh?! what?! whos that?! Heres a hint. He created the most wondrous food item there is. You can find it in the caff. Its really REALLY bad for you. And its motherland is Quebec. Thats right, he invented Poutine. How differentl ife would be without poutine. Heh, and it wasnt the poutine that did him in either. He lived to the ripe old age of 86... and he was as skinny as a stick. Thank you Fernand, for all the joy youve proveded me at lunch.

I still need to think of some cheer for TC, i have no idea what to do

2004-03-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

Myspace button. Its like dying on me. Helikes to work only sumtimes and when he does work, hess umtimes a bit slow. Ivebeen expecting this, ive dropped my keyboard well overfive times. And its only now he starts going weird. poor poorke yboard

2004-03-09T16:55:00.000-08:00

Todays Word. This one is really good, i hope to see every1 using this by the end of the week...

Callipygian:having beautiful or elegantly shaped buttocks.

I bet no one has ever heard or used that word before. Now if you were ever in the position in which a female (or male for that matter) was expecting a complement of some sort, you have the word. Not only will you complement, you'll be spreading knowledge!

2004-03-09T16:49:00.000-08:00

Your Faithfulness. That song, spoke to me unlike any other song ever had. Its lyrics, so meaningful, so beautiful. Especially its chorus. Well, frankly all of it was really good. But yea, the song, its so re-assuring (spelling?), so comforting. Im really not going to bother post the lyrics, first cause just about every1 else has thatl yrics on their blog already and 2nd, cause i cant think of them off the top of my head, and im to lazy to look for my music. Hmmm, i dont really wanna download the song, or really burn the cd, its un-ethical, anyone remember the name of the CD it was on?

2004-03-08T14:38:00.000-08:00

Driving while really tired is a no no. Heh, had my fun on the road today with my driving teacher, David Whats hisname. I dont remember to much, other then the fact i went on the highway and ran over a bunch of grapes hehe. A whole bunch of them, i smiled as i did so, imagining the most pleasent sound it was making as i crushed them, reminded me of how they made wine back in the day. I like almost dozed at the wheel like 4 times, every time i did so, David would ask "Jason, what are you doing?!?!?" and he would panic, as you see, i was kinda drifting listlessly about. Kinda funny when i think about it. Floating listlessly, like a butterfly.

Bah, Chem stinks, i dont even need it, so why am i taking it. What a waste of my time

2004-03-07T20:58:00.000-08:00

Word of Day:
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: Try saying this word, i know i cant, i think my tongue just about fell out when i tried to say it. Actually, its not so much a word as a name of a town, imagine the name of the local car dealer...

2004-03-07T20:54:00.000-08:00

So, first post, something special should come of this, like some sort of innaugural parade. But i dont have a marching band, nor the confetti. Retreat, too much fun. Summed in one word.... ownage. And sadly, thats not even a real word. First time being at a retreat, didnt really know what or how much to expect, except for the prospect of good food. Good food was present, and much more, most of which is better then good food. Highlights of retreat:
1) Circle Wrestling (Kenneth, you animal)
2) Candle Light sharing
3) The Croissant (notice the capitals)
4) mac n' cheese that looked too much like congee
5) Ginger beer (some dissapointments)
6)Arm wrestling PJ and getting owned, then relishing afterwards as the Lam Clan defeated him.

Circle Wrestling:Wow, quite amazing, really fun in the morning, not as fun, but still fun at night. Because you see, at night the ground decided to freeze, so it was kinda hard, so if people fell over, they would slip, slide and not to mention hurt themselves in numerous areas.

Candle Light Sharing: Wow is all i can say. Saw people, who dont usually share, come out and share, very powerful stuff too in some sharings.

The Croissant: Retarded. Plain and simple. Jon and I encountered the most peculiar sight upon the ping pong table at about 4am. a FACEDOWN croissant, with the most delicate bite taken out of the corner. For some absurd reason, Jon and I then proceded to laugh most heartily at it for a good 20 minutes. Im not exaggerating. Turns out it was Cyrus' and he was "pacing himself" and would finish it at breakfast. Breakfast comes along and he takes a few more bites, and leaves it on a chair. I then assume he'll finish it at lunch. Lunch strolls about and low and behold, Cyrus doesnt even touch his Croissant. So the final tally, Criossant - 1, Cyrus ZERO. You lose, you got bested by a croissant. I believe that its still lying on that chair...

Mac 'n' Cheese congee- its was a mistake, a really bad mistake. Some fool took the easy mac and decided to add a whole lot of water. Maybe they were trying to be funny, maybe they were just stupid. The final product... a bowl of mushy watery pasta that likes to dissolve. Sum1 adds the cheese powder to it, and the mush just turns a lovely shade of orange. In the end, cyrus decides he doesnt want to eat it, and does his calculus, he falls asleep doing calculus. 3 hours later, I seeh im bring a bowl of orange upstairs. Its now not mac 'n' cheese congee, its turned into some sort of freaky cheesy pudding. Tasty.

Ginger Beer - 3 days, 3 brands. In short, Pirate brand, didnt live up to the manly logo.
Grace brand, despite the boring totally un-imaginative name, this brand truly owned and was the star of the show. I was nearly overcome with its taste and almost broke down crying, or that could have been the burning causing the tears. its was just B-E-A-Utiful. last one which was the self-proclaimed "traditional jamaican ginger beer" was just a flop. Garbage, i dont even want to talk about it.

Lam Clan- I was easily defeated by "the buffest guy i know" PJ. And proceeded to watch him pretty much decimate the rest of us, then came the Lam Clan. First Karen Lam defeated PJ, with a hand (finger actually) from Pastor Matt Silver. Then Kay Lam defeated Joe. It was amazing, almost like David and Goliath again, just no beheading this time.

That my friends is only the tip of the iceburg, till next time. Same bat time, same bat channel