Steve Irwin. a man's man.



chances are you've already heard the news, Steve Irwin, the "Crocodile Hunter" is dead. Stabbed in the heart by a sting ray. This makes me sad. Steve Irwin truly was a manly man's man. Normal men don't wrestle dangerous animals to wake themselves up in the morning.,, steve Irwin, here is my tribute to you.

1. At this very moment, Steve Irwin is fighting a rabid, radioactive, mile-high croc in Heaven

2. Every morning, Steve Irwin, would BURST out of the anaconda that ate him the previous night, tie it in a knot and then kill every stingray within a 500 mile radius

3. Steve once made a croc's blood run so cold, it froze solid.

4. Steve Irwin defeated Chuck Norris in a wrestling match... with a baby in his arms.

5. Steve Irwin drank at noon everyday. The contents of that drink were known to us as cyanide, every snake venom known to man, pure evil sting ray souls and napalm. To Steve Irwin, it was known simply as "refreshing"

6. Steve Irwin once fought the worlds larges Giant Squid. The corpse of that squid is now known as Japan.

7. Steve Irwin once wrestled an English Dragon into submission. His arms were broken at the time.

8. Steve Irwin once created venomous snakes out of nylon rope. They were 89% MORE venomous then regular snakes.

9. The Alternate ending to 'Anaconda' is Steve Irwin jumping in 4 minutes into the movie and knocking the snake out in 5 seconds with his God-like wrestling moves.

10. Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Mario got the idea of Yoshi when he saw Steve Irwin riding a komodo dragon.

11. Steve Irwin could talk to every animal in existence. Including bacteria.

12. Steve Irwin wrestled with an entire Zerg Brood in his spare time.

RIP Steve Irwin, you've made me laugh countless times, impressed me with your courage, stupidity and strength.

I, Jason induct you into my manly hall of fame, you shall forever be embedded into my mind with the likes of Chuck Norris, Mr. T, David Hasselhoff and Sean Connery.

The Greatest Movie Ever

Now I KNOW that about 99.9999999% will NOT agree with my greatest movie of all time, but whatever, this is my blog and my opinion will go on it.

Without further ado, I present




Yes, my most greatest super fantastic awesome favorite movie in the entire universe is none other then the legendary "Tremors".

Tremors takes place in the states, specifically, a town in the state of Nevada by the name of "Perfection". Perfection is home to 14 citiznes, two of whom are Val and Earl, two guys that just do odd jobs around town and complain about life. However, they would never do anything to change life around because of course that would take too much effort. In other words, these two guys are the very epitome of men. Women hate them (initially) and other men just wish they could slack like them. However, one day, and situation involving a septic tank proves to be too much and they pack up and leave in their rusty ol' truck. On their way out of town however, they come across some dead bodies, and this makes them want to get out of town just THAT much faster. However, it turns out that the way out of town is blocked by stuff and well, through a series of crazy, and ridiculous events, it comes to light that the problems seem to be caused by these giant worm like creatures that burrow and live underground.

Yes, I know, it sounds cheesier then a bucket of nacho cheese, BUT thats just a part of why this movie is so awesome. It has all the character a movie needs, the two heroic slackers, the asian convenience store owner, the cute chick, the crusty, bearded gun expert and the smart ass kid. All these actors come together to create this unusual feeling within you. You have a smile on your face from the ridiculous goofyness and corny one-liners, but at the same time, the movie never really loses its ominous feeling.

Here is my checklist for an awesome movie

1. Kevin Bacon [X]
2. Explosions [X]
3. Guns [X]
z. Dead people [X]
9. Crying [X]
%. Zombies [ ]
:D. blood [X]

So this movie basically has everything. Except zombies. Which is why this movie is awesome. Not even Terminator 2, Judgement day can beat, the wittyness, the cornyness and the horror of the underrated masterpiece known simply as "Tremors"


I give this movie

7 roundhouse kicks out of 5

Upon further reflection, I have realized that Captain Planet DID in fact have a mullet. I stand corrected.

The Best Worst Songs Ever

You know what I'm talking about... These songs suck. Alot. But at the same time whenever its played on the radio, you can't help but laugh silently to yourself and then burst out loudly into the song so that everyone around can hear you and (hopefully) join in. Here is Jason's list of the best worst songs ever.

10. Ebony and Ivory - John McCartney and Stevie Wonder
This quite sums up this song in an awesome and potent sentence. McCartney and Wonder want the races to get along as peacefully as the white and black keys on a piano — which seems unlikely, since the white keys didn’t enslave the black keys for hundreds of years.

9. Final Countdown - Europe
The worst thing ever, bar none to come out of both the band and the country.

8. Barbie Girls - Aqua
Ill admit it, I have the Aqua Cd somewhere in my home. And I used to like them. Listening to them now, I want to beat up my younger self for inflicting such massive damage upon my eardrums. Emo kids need no cut themselves anymore. Aqua is just as painful and infection free!

7. Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex
Two of earth's most vile creations mashed together in a vile song. Country and techno. The band name made me giggle though. haha (rednecks)

6. She Bangs - Ricky Martin
When I first listenined to this song, I thought, now way this guy can take off, the lyrics MAKE NO SENSE. Unfortunately for the planet I was proven wrong. Very wrong.

5. Baby Got Back - Sir-Mix-Alot - yes, we all love this song but really, its horrible. Its just some guy singing about the virtues of the "ghetto bootay". Yea, 3 or so minutes of a man declaring his love for thick rumps. Awesome.

4. Rasputin - Boney M
I heard this on the radio with my mom in the car. I started singing along and amazingly, so did my mom. This song rocks and sucks because well... its about Rasputin. And its Disco.

3. Moskau - Dschinghis Khan
Believe it or not, this song was the theme song of the 1980 Olympic Games in Moscow, you know, the one that everyone boycotted? People say they boycotted cause of the whole communism and cold war thing. I like the think this song caused it.

2. Scat Man - (I have no clue who this is by...)
If you have never heard this song, I feel sorry for you AND am jealous of you at the same time. Really. There are no real detectable words in this song except for "I'm the SCAT MAN!" The rest of it is just scatting. And yet, somehow, everyone can "sing" along to it

1. Safety Dance Men Without Hats
The Cream of the Crop. A product of the 80's, extolling the beauty and wonder of "The Safety Dance" What is it exactly? Well, in the music video (which involves a lute playing midget) The dude makes an "S" shaped thing with his arms whenever he is about to fall down and well, its stops him! Essentially, you kinda lurch forward and make your arms curve into an S shape. If you're ever in the same car as me when this song goes on radio. I will freak out loudly and unashamedly. Don't be scared.



Heres a link to the people performing Moskau. Let me warn you... this video contains PURE 80's unfiltered and in your face. It will make you laugh so hard that you may quite possibly die. Please don't try to copy their dance moves causey ou might hurt yourself.
moskau

Heres a link to the safety dance music video
safety dance

Like a lot of other kids my age, TV played a massive role in my life. I remember in grade 2 or 3, I would actually wake up BEFORE school, at like 6:00am in the morning to watch cartoons. Cartoons such as Peter Pan, the animated series and Carebears. However, morning television really wasnt the "prime" stuff so to say. The best TV of the day would come afterschool. 3 - 5pm on weekdays, we would get fantastic television that would entertain impressionable 8 year old minds with heroes, humour and fun. These weekdays as a child were probably some of the most cherished time of my life to date, which may sound really sad but yea, there you go. Now a days, the realy impact of TV is on Saturday mornings, not that it wasnt back then but the selection on weekends back then isnt nearly as vast as it is today.

And so the point of this post is the list and describe my top 10 after school cartoon/TV shows. Because not all the best shows were cartoons. :D

10. Camp Cariboo




Chances are, 90% of you don't remember this show. Heck, I didnt remember it till a friend and I were talking about awesome shows from our childhood. When he mentioned the name of the show, I STILL didnt remember. Those of you who watched this regularily like I did will probably recognize this show and jump up and down excitedly when someone mentions this show and the "ping pong ball song" in the same line. Remember that song? "I've got a head like a ping pong ball..." But yea great stuff, funny hosts, great times, made me wish I went to the same camp the white kids did. Also its a Canadian show :D

9. SmoggiesSmoggies


This show for some strange reason REALLY entertained me. I have no clue why. Looking back, a lot of cartoons had the whole "be good to your envoronment! Keep it clean!" and all sorts of do good feel good messages. Regardless, the antics of the smogies trying to protect their nice clean little Island from the three badguys always made me laugh and just amused me a lot. I always wondered by the 12391823918239821 smoggies didnt step up and overrun the guys polluting their place. Thats what I would have done.

8. Doug


Many of you may not remember this cartoon but I do. This show was awesome. Period. I think I really should rank this higher, but I have my reasons for putting it at 8. Doug is a really insightful guy, heck the guy almost imspried me to start my own journal. An entertaining show by nickelodeon. HOWEVER, when disney bought the rights to this show so they could make new episodes and make the most horrible movie ever... they managed to destroy what I thought was a clever, smart and entertaining cartoon. I hate disney for doing that. Also, the intro theme song is probaably one of the most repeatable in the world. Once you listen to it once, you WILL NOT stop humming it until your vocal cords like fall apart.

7. Rugrats


Another product of the nickelodeon powerhouse of the mid to late 90s. Really, what is there to say about this show that hasnt been said? I think the big appeal of this show was just the fact that a bunch of babies that seemed so helpless and stupid to adults were really outsmarting them old folk and going out on adventures DAILY. I mean really, as kids we ALL wanted to go out on adventures. And we all thought them babies were so smart because they were able to outsmart their parents on a regular basis. Good stuff this show was. Haha I loved the Grandpa in this show...

6. Duck Tales


Another awesome show. old uncle scrooge and his nephews and neices using his loads of money to go on these adventures. Great animation and just great stories. Once this show was on, there was no ripping me form the TV. This show was just that intense, making me laugh, scream and laugh again all within 30 minutes. Amazing work by disney.

5. Saved by the Bell


One word "Screech". I loved this show and it really was the first sort of regular non cartoon I ever got into. The antics of Screech made me laugh histerically and the absolute coolness of slater made me want to be him. Minus the mullet part of course.

4. Captain Planet


Whoopi Goldberg voiced Gaia, the earth women. This makes this show awesome by default. Then there was the whole coolness factor of this show. I had always thought the annoying heart kid was from india, but just a few weeks ago I learned hes actually from SOUTH america. This is quite possibly the most politically correct cartoon ever. Pretty much every race is represented in the good guys. And so minorities won't get upset, all the bad guys were white lol. The exception was this thing that looked like "The thing" of the fantastic four. He was yellow. Captain planet was awesome cause he could shoot stuff to clean up messes and he had a mullet.

3. X-men the animated Series



this show was the show that every single boy would watch. Ask any guy aged 16 - 25 and then ask them to hum the theme to this show and about 90% of them will be able to do it. Thats how amazing this show is. There was the absolute coolness of there being ALL the X-men in this. epic battles between good and evil every week and 2, evern like 5 part series... it was amazing non stop action that every single boy loved. Heck I bet there are girls out there that watched this show ON A REGULAR BASIS. thats how awesome this is.

2. SpiderMan: The animated series


I dont think I have to say anything for this show. But I will. Awesome. this show was HUGE. EVERY kid watched this show, thats how amazing it was. Awesome animation and well.. it was spider man! you can't go wrong with spider man, hes just that cool!

1. C.O.P.S - the animated series


This is everyones favorite show that nobody remembers. Great stuff. Awesome characters, awesome animation and just entertaining stories that would engage the mind of an 8 year old boy week after week after week. They also had these really cool action figures for this cartoon series. This is by FAR my most favorite cartoon of my childhood and I would do anything to get my hands on the DVD box set of this cartoon series.

no time for a post, a little something to satiate your voracious appetite for the weird and sometimes humerous.

I want to watch this movie really bad.